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Dr. Seuss and Teachers

I teach at school.
At school I teach.
School is cool.
But the kids, oh, patience they can leech.

Kids learn to read and write.
Read and write?
But I do not care to read and write.
But you must learn to read and write.
Or it is upon society you will blight.

Kids learn to do do math.
Math is add and subtract.
And even multiply, and divide.
No, no, no, they cry.
I will not multiply and divide.
I will not do it in a book,
I will not do it when I cook.
No multiply or divide for me.
Yes, you must says I,
One plus two is three,
And three times three is nine.
And that is just wonderfully divine.

And history is wonderful to read
To explore and learn
So as not to repeat
No, no history is dull
And boring to boot

I do not care about some dead men
I just want to buy some loot!
Or go on twitter, myspace, or facebook,
I do not care what is in some old book.

Manners! Oh, how I miss my manners
Please raise your hand, says I
For there are people who want to talk
But there are those who talk and talk
And talk and talk and talk
Talk talk talk talk
All day long
And never are quiet, nor do they follow along
And oh, what pests they can be
Those talk talk talk talkies of yee!

And the state tests.
Oh, the state of state tests
We must not look nor speak nor breathe on these
For they are as secret as secret can be
And all the stress is on these tests
For the kids must be the best they can be
and please be careful, dear student of mine
And watch your pencil and eraser
For the bubble sheets must be clean
Do not make a mess of these,
For that would be awful as awful could be!

They get to go to the dance,
And at the dance they prance and prance,
I can spot in a glance
There are those who are way to near
Too close, too close is what I say
And all they do is turn away
Until I bring out the old yardstick
They they move away right quick!

And the dress code, oh my dear,
Those shorts are way too short, I fear
And your bra straps are hanging out,
You are not appropriate for school, I shout!

Why are you shouting at me, they say
I am only doing things my way
And my way is the best, of course
Although you enforce and enforce,
I test and test, but of course you know
That deep down, when I am all grown
I will someday say to kids of my own
They were right, you know, those teachers of old
They did the best they could, and though
I pushed and whined and cried and fought,
I need to read and do math and learn
So listen up, kids, and do what they say,
Because you too will want to be successful one day!

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